Post by earthman on Oct 11, 2007 23:35:25 GMT -4
This even gives "Douche Plague" a run for its money. This is one I just had with Michael's girlfriend Kristy. It is most unusual and hilarious.
---------
brendon says (9:51 PM):
i am seriously getting fat somehow
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
It's [Subway’s] meat. They only SAY it's healthy.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
i assume it's all the chips and donuts and chocolate bars and coke
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
And that too.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
haha
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
Jeez man, even I kicked that habit.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
so did i
brendon says (9:51 PM):
until i moved in
brendon says (9:51 PM):
and bought a 24 of coke just because it was there
brendon says (9:51 PM):
and f*cking donuts all to hell
brendon says (9:52 PM):
and the other products
brendon says (9:52 PM):
seriously though
Kristy says (9:52 PM):
I don't even like donuts. Unless they're custard filled! And then they're good.
Kristy says (9:52 PM):
And you know, people always get fat when they go to college.
brendon says (9:52 PM):
the IGA i grocery shop at always has crazy-cheap choco bars
brendon says (9:52 PM):
so i cannot resist
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
You need to take an Annie with you to shop.
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
Then you'll be okay
brendon says (9:53 PM):
an Annie?
brendon says (9:53 PM):
as in Oakley?
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
no
brendon says (9:53 PM):
"oooh, chocolate...."
*BAM!*
Kristy says (9:54 PM):
as in anorexic.
"oooh, chocolate...."
*cries and cuts self and exercises*
brendon says (9:54 PM):
lol
brendon says (9:54 PM):
i would so do her
Kristy says (9:54 PM):
You'd never want another salad again if you did
brendon says (9:55 PM):
i'd want one AS i did her
Kristy says (9:56 PM):
shove some down her throat while you're there, too.
Kristy says (9:56 PM):
You know I think cum has something like, 10 calories.
brendon says (9:56 PM):
25, if i read the label right
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
That sound familiar too
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
I can't even remember where I heard it, just that I laughed my ass off.
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
Oh I know!
brendon says (9:57 PM):
hahahaha
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
some annie chick wouldn't swallow because she didn't want the calories.
[At this point I copied and pasted everything in Michael's window, and then copied what he said into this one.]
brendon says (9:57 PM):
Michael says (9:57 PM):
lol indeed
Michael says (9:57 PM):
And it's 9
brendon says (9:57 PM):
so useful
Kristy says (9:58 PM):
I like how we all have a different number.
brendon says (9:58 PM):
haha
Kristy says (9:58 PM):
now I wonder what it is....
Kristy says (9:59 PM):
1 tsp= 5 calories.
brendon says (10:00 PM):
hmmmm
brendon says (10:00 PM):
how much is a standard ejaculation?
brendon says (10:00 PM):
($12.50, sir)
brendon says (10:00 PM):
(lol.)
Kristy says (10:00 PM):
That I couldn't tell you.
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
I'd ask you to answer that, but then.... I just don't want to know.
brendon says (10:01 PM):
well look it up, man
brendon says (10:01 PM):
yeah, i j/o into my teaspoons all the time
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
Well you could give an accurate estimate if you'd ever been in a kitchen.
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
*has crossed the gross-out line*
brendon says (10:02 PM):
lmao
brendon says (10:02 PM):
so true
brendon says (10:02 PM):
oh man
brendon says (10:03 PM):
i have seldom lol'd so furiously
Kristy says (10:03 PM):
About what?
brendon says (10:03 PM):
that of which we speak
brendon says (10:03 PM):
it makes me giggle
brendon says (10:03 PM):
we're trying to scientifically deduce the calories in a blowjob
Kristy says (10:04 PM):
But I just told you! We're not trying, we've got it cased.
brendon says (10:04 PM):
not until we know how many tsps in a good wank!
brendon says (10:04 PM):
that should be a new thing
brendon says (10:05 PM):
like mph
brendon says (10:05 PM):
tpw
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
Hahahahahhaha
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
I wonder if it differs, actually.
brendon says (10:05 PM):
um, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah........
brendon says (10:05 PM):
not quite the same mileage
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
buahaha
brendon says (10:05 PM):
that would mean 60 tsps per wank would be the legal limit
Kristy says (10:06 PM):
Holy god, no way one person could do that PER wank!
brendon says (10:06 PM):
sounds like a challenge to me
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
One I don't want to know the outcome of.
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
But there's no way your body could produce that much at once!
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
Your nuts would pop.
[Again I copied everything to Michael's window, but he wasn't responding.]
brendon says (10:12 PM):
you're not even lol'ing, are you?
Michael says (10:12 PM):
You just wish
brendon says (10:12 PM):
haha
Michael says (10:13 PM):
I was just busy measuring
brendon says (10:13 PM):
hahahaha
brendon says (10:13 PM):
and?
brendon says (10:13 PM):
get past 3 inches yet?
Michael says (10:13 PM):
I'm almost to my ankles
brendon says (10:14 PM):
lost your legs, huh?
brendon says (10:14 PM):
too bad
brendon says (10:14 PM):
they were hella smooth
Michael says (10:14 PM):
Yeah
Michael says (10:14 PM):
Lost them in the f*cking FLOOD
brendon says (10:14 PM):
hahahahahaha
---------
brendon says (9:51 PM):
i am seriously getting fat somehow
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
It's [Subway’s] meat. They only SAY it's healthy.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
i assume it's all the chips and donuts and chocolate bars and coke
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
And that too.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
haha
Kristy says (9:51 PM):
Jeez man, even I kicked that habit.
brendon says (9:51 PM):
so did i
brendon says (9:51 PM):
until i moved in
brendon says (9:51 PM):
and bought a 24 of coke just because it was there
brendon says (9:51 PM):
and f*cking donuts all to hell
brendon says (9:52 PM):
and the other products
brendon says (9:52 PM):
seriously though
Kristy says (9:52 PM):
I don't even like donuts. Unless they're custard filled! And then they're good.
Kristy says (9:52 PM):
And you know, people always get fat when they go to college.
brendon says (9:52 PM):
the IGA i grocery shop at always has crazy-cheap choco bars
brendon says (9:52 PM):
so i cannot resist
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
You need to take an Annie with you to shop.
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
Then you'll be okay
brendon says (9:53 PM):
an Annie?
brendon says (9:53 PM):
as in Oakley?
Kristy says (9:53 PM):
no
brendon says (9:53 PM):
"oooh, chocolate...."
*BAM!*
Kristy says (9:54 PM):
as in anorexic.
"oooh, chocolate...."
*cries and cuts self and exercises*
brendon says (9:54 PM):
lol
brendon says (9:54 PM):
i would so do her
Kristy says (9:54 PM):
You'd never want another salad again if you did
brendon says (9:55 PM):
i'd want one AS i did her
Kristy says (9:56 PM):
shove some down her throat while you're there, too.
Kristy says (9:56 PM):
You know I think cum has something like, 10 calories.
brendon says (9:56 PM):
25, if i read the label right
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
That sound familiar too
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
I can't even remember where I heard it, just that I laughed my ass off.
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
Oh I know!
brendon says (9:57 PM):
hahahaha
Kristy says (9:57 PM):
some annie chick wouldn't swallow because she didn't want the calories.
[At this point I copied and pasted everything in Michael's window, and then copied what he said into this one.]
brendon says (9:57 PM):
Michael says (9:57 PM):
lol indeed
Michael says (9:57 PM):
And it's 9
brendon says (9:57 PM):
so useful
Kristy says (9:58 PM):
I like how we all have a different number.
brendon says (9:58 PM):
haha
Kristy says (9:58 PM):
now I wonder what it is....
Kristy says (9:59 PM):
1 tsp= 5 calories.
brendon says (10:00 PM):
hmmmm
brendon says (10:00 PM):
how much is a standard ejaculation?
brendon says (10:00 PM):
($12.50, sir)
brendon says (10:00 PM):
(lol.)
Kristy says (10:00 PM):
That I couldn't tell you.
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
I'd ask you to answer that, but then.... I just don't want to know.
brendon says (10:01 PM):
well look it up, man
brendon says (10:01 PM):
yeah, i j/o into my teaspoons all the time
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
Well you could give an accurate estimate if you'd ever been in a kitchen.
Kristy says (10:01 PM):
*has crossed the gross-out line*
brendon says (10:02 PM):
lmao
brendon says (10:02 PM):
so true
brendon says (10:02 PM):
oh man
brendon says (10:03 PM):
i have seldom lol'd so furiously
Kristy says (10:03 PM):
About what?
brendon says (10:03 PM):
that of which we speak
brendon says (10:03 PM):
it makes me giggle
brendon says (10:03 PM):
we're trying to scientifically deduce the calories in a blowjob
Kristy says (10:04 PM):
But I just told you! We're not trying, we've got it cased.
brendon says (10:04 PM):
not until we know how many tsps in a good wank!
brendon says (10:04 PM):
that should be a new thing
brendon says (10:05 PM):
like mph
brendon says (10:05 PM):
tpw
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
Hahahahahhaha
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
I wonder if it differs, actually.
brendon says (10:05 PM):
um, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah........
brendon says (10:05 PM):
not quite the same mileage
Kristy says (10:05 PM):
buahaha
brendon says (10:05 PM):
that would mean 60 tsps per wank would be the legal limit
Kristy says (10:06 PM):
Holy god, no way one person could do that PER wank!
brendon says (10:06 PM):
sounds like a challenge to me
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
One I don't want to know the outcome of.
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
But there's no way your body could produce that much at once!
Kristy says (10:08 PM):
Your nuts would pop.
[Again I copied everything to Michael's window, but he wasn't responding.]
brendon says (10:12 PM):
you're not even lol'ing, are you?
Michael says (10:12 PM):
You just wish
brendon says (10:12 PM):
haha
Michael says (10:13 PM):
I was just busy measuring
brendon says (10:13 PM):
hahahaha
brendon says (10:13 PM):
and?
brendon says (10:13 PM):
get past 3 inches yet?
Michael says (10:13 PM):
I'm almost to my ankles
brendon says (10:14 PM):
lost your legs, huh?
brendon says (10:14 PM):
too bad
brendon says (10:14 PM):
they were hella smooth
Michael says (10:14 PM):
Yeah
Michael says (10:14 PM):
Lost them in the f*cking FLOOD
brendon says (10:14 PM):
hahahahahaha